"My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." - Isaiah 32:18

Saturday, March 3, 2018

When the Basics are Luxuries

The postpartum years are blurry in my memory.

I had four babies in five and a half years.

But I can remember when everyday basics like showering and laundry suddenly became luxuries.

Even getting to the coffee pot each morning was difficult.

Tremendous obstacles had to be overcome in order to earn that first hot sip.

Obstacles such as... The baby would be crying, needing a diaper change and a morning feeding... The toddler would need to be rushed to the potty as quickly upon waking up as possible, or I'd pay the consequences of having to clean up a tinkle accident... And an older child would have tried to pour himself a cup of juice, but spilled it down the cabinets and onto the floor. 

This is a normal day in a home of babies and toddlers.


I knew it was up to me to keep order and peace. But for years there were many days when toys would be all over the floors and couches, and the best I could do for dinner was a frozen pizza.

I learned during those years to be content with "good enough" and to just focus on the basics.

Of course, every mother must decide for herself what her basics are. For me I was comfortable letting most things slide, but my basics were clean clothes and bedding, and good enough meals. (Like cutting up some fresh fruit to go wth our frozen pizza, haha!)

Having babies is an unordinary and hard time in life, so the first hurdle (in my opinion) is mental; just coming to terms with the fact that homemaking isn't going to flow smoothly. Don't expect to be able to mop floors, tidy rooms, and fold laundry with the same ease as before.

Cheryl Mendelson in her fantastic housekeeping book, Home Comforts writes an encouraging and reasonable standard for the home during hard times...

"The goal during these hard times is to adhere, more or less, to some workable minimal routine. If you can still cook simple meals and food preparation areas are safe and sanitary, if everyone has clean clothes, if the bedrooms are dusted, vacuumed, and aired and the bedding is fresh, you are doing well."


I learned a few tricks throughout my baby and toddler years. Nothing revolutionary, but they really helped me. "Survival tactics" I suppose they could be called. I'll share them here...

1. I kept my bible open at all times on my kitchen table.

Before I had my babies I would keep my bible in my bedroom and read at night before falling asleep, or early in the mornings before rushing out to work. That system quickly became impossible after children came along. There's no such thing as alone time in my room. So my solution was to move my bible down to the kitchen and keep it open. 

The kitchen is a woman's headquarters, and where I spend most of my time. So if I had a few minutes while the pasta water was coming to a boil, or while I was feeding the baby in the highchair, my bible would be right there, and I could easily read. But mainly it came in handy at breakfast time. I would sit with all my children while we ate, and I would read aloud to them. Looking back, this was a fruitful time in our lives. My children memorized all of Psalm 23 and other large portions of scripture during the years my bible lived on our kitchen table.

2. I showered at night.

I still do this actually, but I went from always showering in the mornings to showering at night when my first born was a baby. It was just too hard to figure out how to shower in the chaos of the mornings. So instead, once the children are tucked into bed, I shower in the peace and quiet of the evening. Micah is home and can listen for the children while I'm in the bathroom. This way all I have to do in the morning is wash my face and get dressed and I'm ready to begin on breakfast and child-care. 



3. I've taught my babies that they are not in charge; I AM!

This one is important in our modern day. I have observed many young parents who cater to their children's demands and live a child-centered life. I taught my babies to be content in strollers, highchairs, and pack 'n plays. Chaos reigns in homes where the children are free to do as they wish and the parents have no control. This certainly doesn't mean we've never had chaotic days. I just mean generally speaking, my children know that I am the boss and they are not.

An example...

If I wanted to go to the mall I would strap my babies in the stroller and shop for as long as I wanted. They knew they were just along for the ride. If they fussed I would NOT get them out! I knew that letting them out would only teach them that I would give in if they fussed when they wanted something. 

Lastly...

4. This too shall pass.

I used to hate it when people would tell me this, but it's true! On hard days when I would spin my wheels on diaper change after diaper change, mess after mess, and toddler tantrum after toddler tantrum, it would help me to remember that these years are temporary. And I'll never get them back! Sure enough, as I write this, my youngest now is already three and a half! Daily life isn't nearly as hard as it was several years ago. It flew by, indeed! 

I am no longer resorting to just the basics. I can fit more things into my day, and even delegate jobs to my older children! 

But the most beautiful reward for surviving this season of life, is that once you get your "normal" back, you are still able to see the basics as luxuries.


Maybe it's a perk, or a gift from the Lord? I don't know. But I do know that I haven't taken clean laundry, a good nights' sleep, or an obstacle-free cup of morning coffee for granted ever since!

"He hath made everything beautiful in His time." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11


Take care friends,


xo,


~ Courtney ~


2 comments:

  1. Yep, in the postpartum blurred life right now. Just a few more years and I will look back and ask...how did we do that? (Hopefully with a cup of coffee in hand)

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    Replies
    1. You will! You will! It's weird because these years really do whiz by, but at the time that you're living them you feel like life is crawling at a snail's pace. Haha... Hang in there, Mama!

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