"My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." - Isaiah 32:18

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Standards In The Home and Love Letters

In January 2014, I began writing to Elsa, my fourth baby, who was only a few months along in my tummy.

I hadn't written to any of my other children, but had the idea that I would begin sort of a journal or letter, hand-written by me, to just her.

In it, I thought I could record some family information, stories, motherly advice, etc...

It's been over two years since I began and I'm still writing to her. It's become more than a letter, it's now a book! My hope is to give it to her when she's a young adult, and my prayer is that she will treasure it.

This is a picture of the very first page:




Today I want to share an excerpt from her book. I think this specific excerpt fits nicely with the theme of my blog. It was written in the fall of 2015, right after a conversation that I had had with an older mom friend of mine, about the topic of standards in the home. Should a mother lower her standards for her home because she has young children? The following are the thoughts I recorded. I hope you enjoy it.

My sweet Elsa,

It's Fall now. I just finished putting supper in the crockpot for us. It's late on a Sunday afternoon. Everyone is resting or watching football but I can't sit so I put in some laundry, tidied the kitchen, and made soup. To me, true rest is found in useful activity. I find it relaxing to chop up some garlic, and onion, and parsley, etc...

I love working in my home. I do get overwhelmed sometimes. I was just walking around and noticed toys on the floor, papers scattered about on the table, smudges and finger prints on the door, and several other messy or out-of-place things. It reminded me of an older mom telling me recently that I should "lower my standards".

She said that since I'm a mom of young children and I homeschool, that that is where my focus should be and nothing else is all that important. She advised me to consider getting rid of my house plants and antiques because that might lighten my load and eliminate some stress. As she was telling me this I couldn't help but think, "What an unbelievably odd suggestion." And I've been pondering this ever since. Here's what I've come up with:

You will never meet a successful person (whether it's in business, or their marriage, or any other form of success) and have them tell you that the key to their success all began with them lowering their standards. On the contrary, any well-run business, clean home, beautiful garden, etc... came to be because someone decided to work hard and prioritize it.

Well-meaning people have said to me that a messy, unorganized home is normal when you have little kids. Yes, I suppose to a degree that is true. But I would say, just because something is normal doesn't mean it's acceptable. 

I think more young mothers should prioritize their homes and strive to make them beautiful and clean. What a gift they would be giving their family! I sure hope that this can be said about me! And from what I can see, it begins with a decision to raise ones standards, instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elsa's book is filled with a variety of things, like a description of my childhood home, her first words and sentences, funny family stories, how her dad and I met, family tree-type information... And lots and lots of pages telling her how much she's loved and adored by me and her family.

(This is me with my children the summer I was pregnant with Elsa.)


I've also included some detailed stories of ways I've seen God move in my life as well as some of my personal struggles.

- An excerpt from January 2014:

~ ~ I don't know what your life will be like. Your struggles will look different than mine, I'm sure. But no matter what the future holds for you, Elsa, I want you to know that life in Christ is never hopeless. Scripture is a deep well of comfort. God is Just and Sovereign. He has a plan for your life. ~ ~

(Baby Elsa last summer.)

                

- An excerpt from July 2015:

~~ I can't imagine life without you! You are like the cherry on top of our family! Daddy and I love you so much! Your brothers and sissy adore you! ~~ I'm so glad God gave you to me! I consider you a special gift! God has a wonderful plan for your life, Elsa, and I'm looking forward to watching it unfold. ~~

(Elsa today.)


               

- An excerpt from June 2016:

~~ Elsa, you are such a joy! You absolutely light up my life! You are a good girl and a good listener! You are almost two and I can't believe it! Not a baby anymore :( :( You're running around all over the place, wanting to be a part of what the big kids are doing. I told you when I began writing to you, that I wanted to record some of my life experiences. This Spring I saw God move in my life and speak to my heart. I want to tell you about it... ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Recently I watched an interview with Anderson Cooper, and he said something that struck me. He said that his father died when he was only ten-years old. He then spent the rest of his childhood into his teen years with the fantasy that maybe his father had left him a letter that would surface in his adult years. A letter that would tell him everything he didn't know about his father and his life. He went on to say that there was never any such letter and that he didn't want that same heart break when his mother dies. So, he's been in the process of writing a book with his mother.

I mention this little story to say that kids really do want to know about their parents! They're interested in details and stories! It gives them a sense of belonging. If something happens to me and I die young, my children will have some information about me and my life, written by me, through this blog and the book to Elsa. 

I plan to continue writing to her, and to you, too, my dear readers! 

Until next time...

xoxo,

~ Courtney 


4 comments:

  1. Elsa is so lucky! What a special gift for her to cherish.

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  2. We have journals for each of our boys that both Nathan & I write in. Although it has been a while since I last made an entry. You have inspired me to get back at writing in them more regularly.

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    1. Oh I'm glad to hear that! :) I've let months go by in between entries, too... I like that Nathan writes in them! What a great idea to have dad involved... I should get Micah to write an entry or two... :)

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